"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together."
-Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962)

i wanna shut the door, and open up my mind

Have you ever reached a point where, you're pretty tired about the same things over and over again, that you've reached a point where.. you can't really be fucked to do anything about it?

I have.

this love rollercoaster

- Beep™ says:
mmm give me smth to blog about now

mona. says:
u can talk about me HAHAH jokes ummm what is pissing u off right now? about how uve expected things to be and didnt go the way u want? and that ur LOST in this terrible heartache

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thanks mona. :P

ok so my boyfriend and fell into this really big roadblock this past week, fights and shit, right after our 3rd month together. i havent spent time with him for 5 days, and some of you will think "fuck off bitch, thats no big deal" (yeah whatever losers, admit it you miss you're boo when he/she/it is gone), he's been with his boys and i've been with my girls so, it's all fine and dandy right?

you wouldnt feel the same, you'd expect calls or a message every now any then.

i didnt get one.

being the undeserving gf that i am, i had the balls to bitch about it, even though i know there could be a point where he'd leave me for complaining so much, i kept bitching. because, unlike some people, i actually gave a fuck about this relationship.

some of you know i havent been in a pretty serious relationship in nearly a year, it was all games and shit.

well this is pretty intense to me. (ooOoOOoooHhh)

yeah, its intense. mona i dont know where this blog is going.

i love him, and we try to make things work as much as possible. :)

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well the lesson to this story is..
there isnt one.
i was just a pissed off girlfriend waiting
for her boyfriend to be considerate, or vice-versa.

i have a joke for you at the end of this blog: the man walked into a bar, and thats it, go jack yourself, goodnight :)

MESSAGE TO ALL GUYS:
mona will have sex with you, anytime, ANYWHERE,
as long as you play electro.
its ok if it's playing from your cellfone
or walkman(you're that old?!),
she gets wet with electro. ;)

WHATEVER.
you dont know me anymore, or the things i do.
dont judge me like you used to.

me, myself & i .. with sushi and chocolate bars

It's Sunday.
I missed my friend's basketball match and i missed church.
I miss my friends and i miss church.
I miss the person i thought you were.
I miss the person i knew i was.

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Im at home, watching movies and series i missed out! I looove movies, i havent been movie-tripping in ages, really looking forward to just being with myself today :) (stop lying to yourself!) haha kiddding@ Then gotta start painting later on, really need to catch up with the school work and being on time.

I dont like what i ate for lunch today :( it tasted bad, but gotta be thankful, i thank God i have food to eat. :) I thank God for friends who cheer me up, Mona & Chris, i love you both (and i shall force you both to meet sometime soon, haha cause you both amaze me!)

goodnight goodnight

Im going to take this moment to blog, because I've got so much on my mind..

I know love is sacrificing things you like, doing things you don't want to do, not because you want to, but (sometimes) because you have to.

.. i have nothing else to say.

I hate PMS.

you have NO. IDEA.

how

FRUSTRATING.

it is. to try to talk to someone

you really Love

when he makes you

want to just

SHUT THE FUCK UP

and beat yourself.

he always makes me smile

muah muah muah :)

" But we're still keeping it together, we're good.
Aint nobody breaking us apart & no one ever could.
Only cause we're only getting close, we're tight.
None of their words and lies don't matter.
They can say what they like.
We're doing alright, yeah baby we're good.
Baby we're good "
We're Good - Paula Deanda

getting things right

I forgot to mention that i did get a new hairstyle, i was a little bored of my curly orangey-brown one, so.. here it is:

my mom says i look very innocent and sat agrees that im going to get IDed. alot. hahaha! but oh well, always better to try something new ;)

Sat & I are at peace, happy and still annoying each other, but happy nonetheless. who wants to see his mustache picture? hehehe!

Last but not least, i will always Thank God for everyday i'm still living. Though im on the winding road of self-destruction, i am slowly getting to the end.i know im getting there. I know it is never enough to just thank God about how much we've gone through.. I gotta do something about it. Thanks to faith, jai and gen, im very well reminded that im not alone :)

I will. Im not that different, i still know who i am.
Dont give up on me guys, because i know i havent given up.. :)

relationships arent meant to be complicated

do you know those days where nothing seems to be going right? i think today is that day.

earlier on today, i just kept thinking of what i could be writing about today. and i had a lot in mind.

but at the end of the day, my heart just isnt in it.

i want to fix things, i want to make things right. but somehow at one point, theres something called 'emotions', and its hard to detach yourself from this. relationships arent meant to be complicated, but because of how we feel, or what we feel like doing, or not doing, or want or dont want, it needs a little something called 'effort' and 'understanding'.

late for school!

im going to get to school an hour late, thats bad.
anyway, leave links to your own blogs, i need links!! :P

arguments are complicated

its never easy to get through it, not easy to avoid it and its not easy to make up after it.


WRONG. thats bullshit. it's only easy if you're willing to put yourself off from biting back because you know arguing isnt worth it. and yes guys, we always want to hear the phone ring after dropping off abruptly. why? because we're girls. we wont just drop of the phone and easily get distracted. we wont be chatting on msn trying not to think about it. we'd be waiting for the phone to ring.


i know that, if it was my fault in the argument, i'd always call back because i know it was my mistake and i'd always want to get past it and move on, theres no point sleeping mad at eachother (cue music by ne-yo mad, you already know! ;)).

Anyway, if you are having an argument with someone you love, dont let it get in the way of the bigger picture; stay positive he/she still loves you ;)



side note; its nothing serious by the way, im just PMSing :) dont dig into it, because it's just a random thought :P

finally recreating something, hopefully i stick to it this time.
editing in progresssss ;)